I’d like to share with you a new way that God has chosen to use me.  It is through a trip that I am going to take that will hopefully be a life changing experience for the people I come in contact with, as well as myself.

Can you envision a land where poverty, hardship, hunger and a lack of resources both spiritually and physically keep many from hearing the Gospel of Jesus Christ?  I want to share with you a challenging ministry opportunity God has presented to me.  During August 4th -11th, I will be going to Peru with a team from The Ridge Church and LifePoint Church.  Our one-week trip will focus on coming along side the people of a few small villages in Peru to help them both spiritually and materially.  If we can help strengthen and encourage these people then they will be better equipped to carry on the Gospel when we leave. We will be allowing God to work in our lives through the personal enrichment that comes from this type of a mission trip.  I’m certain God will change my life greatly as a result of stepping out to serve Him in this important area.

I’m so excited about the opportunities and experiences that lie ahead.  This trip is a calling that has been heavy on my heart for some time now and I believe God will use me and the others on this trip in a mighty way.  I hope you see the value in what we will accomplish.  As you can imagine, a trip like this requires financial support from a number of people.  In order to go on this mission trip I need to raise $1,200 by July 1st.  If you can support me in a financial way, I would be very grateful.  Any money raised above this amount will be donated to help some of the others on the team to meet their goal.  And, most importantly, I also need your prayer support.  Prayer is the fuel that will allow us to be successful as we follow God’s leading in our ministry in Peru.  Without prayer, little, or nothing will happen.

Andy does a great job of laying out the ways this can manifest itself in our lives. Then he nails us with what some may consider a shocking conclusion to the balance we all try to achieve between work, home and everything else that is competing for our time and attention. I’ll leave it up to you to find out what that is by reading the book.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone. I wish I had discovered it earlier in life but I certainly plan to pass it on to others and to use its contents with those I offer counsel.

FTC DISCLAIMER: “I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.

When we get married, our vision for marriage is a to have a covenant relationship. We are making a promise. We recite vows. We promise to be there. We promise to love unconditionally. We promise in sickness and in health. We are not signing a contract, we are making a promise. We are reciting a covenant that comes from the depth of our heart. This covenant feels right. This covenant feels holy. This covenant feels ordained.

But something happens to most marriages over time. The unconditional love we promised, starts being conditional. The list of things we loved about our spouse slowly drifts to a list of things that irritate us. We aren’t getting what we are putting in. This isn’t what we signed up for. This isn’t what we agreed to. Our covenant relationship has slowly become a contractual agreement.

Here are some signs your marriage is more of a contract than a covenant:

1. Comparison:

You are so disappointed in who your spouse is that you compare them with someone else. You wish they were more handy like so and so’s husband. You wish they could cook like so and so’s wife. You compare them with someone you work with…they don’t listen that well, understand you that much. The comparison game is a dangerous one to play.

2. If-Then Relationship

You will take out the trash if she will do the laundry. You will pick up the kids from school if she will let get off your back about going golfing. There are conditions attached to sexual intimacy. Conditions attached to time spent together. You keep score and you usually win. No one wins in the if-then marriage. You can never do enough.

3. Walking on Egg-Shells

When you are in a contractual marriage you are constantly worried about starting a fight. You walk on egg shells when you get home from work. You walk on egg shells on the weekends. You’re goal is to get through a day, a weekend, a week without an argument. You know your spouses hot buttons and do everything you can to not push them.

4. Score Keeping

In a contractual marriage you always know the score. You know how many times you’ve served them; you’ve given in; you’ve said you’re sorry; you’ve not gotten you way. You keep score of purchases; arguments and times you’ve given something against your will. Your desire isn’t to experience intimacy with your spouse, but to win the score keeping game. (There is no winner in a score keeping marriage.)

God’s vision for your marriage is a covenant not a contract. He longs to have your relationship with your spouse mirror His relationship with you. When you least deserved it, He sacrificed for you. A covenant is an unconditional promise that has no end.

Maybe the best thing you can do for your marriage today is evaluate which type of relationship you have and which type do you want to have.

Missions In Action

I know not all of us have the time or resources to go on mission trips but if you can please take some time to check out Compassion International to learn how you could help today.

Recently, I was reminded of this verse when I heard about a friend of mine, that home schools her children. This year she started teaching her son about American History. She began a lesson on slavery and was bothered by the look of horror on her sons face as she taught him what we had done to people during that time.

I can only imagine how heart breaking it must be to a child to discover for the first time what we humans are actually capable of. His little heart does not yet have the capacity for the sin that our adults hearts have. I think as we grow older we fall into a kind of complacency with the evil around us. If it even bothers us at all it tends to anger or disgust us more than break our hearts. We become cynical and judgmental rather than empathize or sympathize with people and their struggles. The very behavior that makes us hate other may even be exhibited by us at times.

I know I find myself there very often. I have led quite a sinful life and I came to Christ in my mid-thirties. But, more often than not, instead of using my past experience to have this empathy or sympathy and to help others in need I find myself being disgusted by their behavior. Even though not too long ago I may have very well been walking in their shoes, on the very same path. If only we could keep those innocent eyes to see people with. That innocent, untainted heart to love them with. The same kind of eyes Jesus sees us with. The same kind of heart He loves us with. But, we have to mess it all up with our selfishness and our sinful nature.

We view pornography or fool around with our girlfriends or boyfriends thinking “what’s the big deal?” but all the while we are ruining our thoughts for our future spouses.

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” -Matthew 5:28 NIV

We smoke, drink or over-eat thinking “I can control it!” but it often leads to excessive or gluttonous tendencies, which are sinful.

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, …” -Galatians 5:16-26 ESV

We dislike those that are not like us which can lead to out-right hatred.

“But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.” -Matthew 5:22 NIV

I have spoken to various teenagers over the past few years and I’ve tried to explain to them, the opportunity they have to not pollute their minds and souls with the garbage that is out there, all around them. To keep their hearts and eyes as pure and innocent as possible so that when they do encounter this sinful world it might just break their heart rather than anger and disgust them.

This is something God is working on in my life and I ask for your prayers as I will pray for you to either keep yourself from this trap or for you to be pulled from it. I have found the current, “40 Days of Love” message series as well as the Life Groups study lifting me up and challenging me every day so far.

Thank you Father for renewing my heart and eyes so that I can see others as you see them.

-Rick Phillips

I love the openness Andy displays here. The four emotions that control us, guilt, anger, greed and jealousy, are dead on. This is also the reason I hate the book. Andy does such a great job explaining these enemies of the heart and helping us to see them in ourselves that I found the book kicking my butt all over the place. Of course, I’m sure that’s the point and in time I’ll find a way to thank Andy for helping me to see the enemies and how they have manifested themselves in my heart.

Seriously though, “Enemies of the Heart” has a great message and revelation. We all struggle with some form of each one of these heart conditions and they need to be addressed before we need spiritual CPR. This book will help you discover them in your heart and hopefully, help you perform some heart surgery on yourself.

Plaque can build up and cause blockage in our arteries. This blockage slows blood flow that damages the heart. Just like that plaque, each of the enemies discussed, guilt, anger, greed and jealousy, can build up and cause damage, ultimately blocking the flow of love Jesus intends to feed our hearts with.

Physical heart disease, left unchecked, can lead to physical death. Likewise, left unchecked, spiritual heart disease can lead to the death and destruction of marriages, families, friendships, careers…

Do yourself a favor, get a check up! The best way I know to start is with this book. Make your appointment now and purchase “Enemies of the Heart.” I can’t promise it won’t hurt but it will all be worth it in the end.

Andy Stanley is a pastor, communicator, author, and the founder of North Point Ministries, Inc. (NPM). Since its inception in 1995,North Point Ministries has grown from one campus to five in the Atlanta area and has helped plant over thirty strategic partner churches globally. Each Sunday, more than twenty-five thousand people attend worship services at one of North Point Ministries’ five campuses. Andy’s books include Communicating for a Change, The Next Generation Leader, How Good is Good Enough?and many more. He lives in Alpharetta, Georgia, with his wife, Sandra, and their three children.

FTC DISCLAIMER: “I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.

Trisha and I have spent more time apart this summer than we have at any time since our separation five and a half years ago. I’d be lying if I said that it hasn’t brought up questions and concerns and conversations. I’ve been free from pornography for almost six years. It no longer has a grip on my heart. But neither of us are stupid either. I’m one choice away from compromising my integrity; my relationship with God; my marriage; my boys. I know that. A lot of people travel. So I thought it would be helpful to share with you some of the things we think through when we’re apart. (If you’re not married yet, most of these principles will apply as well.)

-Recognize I’m in a Battle

There is a battle for my heart. There is a battle for my mind. The Apostle Paul in the New Testament says that, “Satan prowls like a lion, seeking someone to devour.” For so many years, I took this for granted. Purity will not be easy…I will have to fight for it. When Trisha is gone, or when I’m traveling, I am conscious of the battle I’m in. I pray about it. I read Scriptures about it. Knowing you’re in a battle is half the fight.

-Guard my eyes and my heart

I’m pretty selective about the TV shows I watch and the movies I watch anyway. I am very conscious of this when Trisha and I are apart. I’m not trying to be all legalistic or old fogey…but the purity of my heart and the intimacy of my marriage is much more important to me than a TV show or movie. I know that the Enemy can use things I see to trip me up…so I dial up my awareness and my standard when Trisha and I are apart.

-Pray a powerful prayer

One of my favorite Scriptures is a prayer that David prayed, that I pray at least once per day when Trisha and I are in different places. The prayer I pray is, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” When I’m willing to pray this prayer, and truly mean it, I’m allowing God into all of my heart.

Trying not to lust doesn’t work. Trying not to look at pornography doesn’t work. Trying not to do something you know you shouldn’t do never gives you the results you want.

Engage in the battle.

Choose to guard your mind.

Allow God into the darker parts of your heart.

Purity is possible!  

How do you pursue purity when you’re away from your spouse?

With all of these options at our fingertips it’s easy to have messages strewn across 10-20 different apps or programs. This makes it easier to overlook something important and miss out or mess up. I have method to my communications madness. I make no claims that it’s better than any other but it works well for me.

Phone calls/voicemail: If I receive a phone call and the caller does not leave a message I DO NOT return the call. I have had too many negative experiences returning calls from caller ID. I know some people do but I just choose not to. If I call someone else and I don’t leave a message I don’t expect a call back. If it’s important I’ll leave a message or I’ll even text them and ask them to call me when they are free. A lot of the time if I see someone left a voicemail I will call them back without even listening to the message. Weird? Maybe but it’s what I do.

Texting: I typically use this for brief messages. Texting is a wonderful invention for those short little statements or questions. “On my way home”, “what do you want from Wendy’s?”, “call me when u can”, “love you”. If you want to converse with me, call me. I don’t like texting enough to type out long messages. I’d rather just talk on the phone if I have the time.

Twitter: I love Twitter! I use it to gather information mostly. Twitter posts usually need to add value to my life.  If someone I am following posts too much about personal stuff or rants about politics etc. I stop following them.

Facebook: This is a great tool for catching up with old friends and family. It drives me crazy when people use it in place of email. I don’t look at it that much. My Twitter feed updates to my Facebook so it may look like I’m on a lot but I’m not. Also, Facebook seems to like changing my settings so I get flooded with emails from them so I have created an email address that I don’t check or use at all for that account.

Email: Hey, call me old but I still love my email. I forward Tweets to my email so I can look at them later. I email myself notes all the time. I use my email INBOX as my life inbox. If it needs done by me the best way to get me to do it is by sending me an email. For me, email is still the best place to store, sort and search information. I also don’t “play”  with email. My spam filters are set high and if it has FWD in the subject I tend to delete it fast. I love jokes and have a great sense of humor but I just have no time for distractions in my INBOX.

How about you?

Addendum: I realized that I left out the most important form of communication TALKING! Often imitated never duplicated. None of the above forms, methods, or tools can replace genuine face-to-face conversation. Tone, inflection, feeling, passion are all important pieces to our communication and none of them can be expressed better than in person.

In my previous post we reflected on our own scars but what about the scars of others? Often we judge or define others by their scars?

The “monster” in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was misunderstood, feared and hated for how he appeared. Because of his scars (his differences) he was branded a monster. Later in the story he succumbed and actually became the monster others had labeled him.

I fear that we do this to people all the time. I know I’ve been guilty of it. I also know others have done it to me.

“She comes from a broken home so she must be broken.” “He grew up on the wrong side of the tracks so he must be trouble.” How can people be expected to over-come and heal their scars if they are constantly labeled, judged and beat down because of them. We are commanded many times over to love one another. John 13:34 NIV – A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 1 John 3:11 NIV - For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 1 John 4:11 NIV –  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. There’s nothing written anywhere in scripture that adds: “…if you want to” or “…only if they’re like minded or the same race or share the same political views.” But we continue to see others as “monsters” if they don’t conform to our standard of normal or if they don’t live up to what WE believe they should be like. We are all created by God for a reason. We should strive to become what God has designed us for not wh

at society or man “expects” of us. Therefore, we should not have our own preconceived design for others other than to become what God is calling them to become.

Now the Bible clearly sets a standard as to how God would have us live our lives and unfortunately many choose to live far from that standard. But it is Gods standard, to be judged by God. We are only to love God and love others. We are formed by the same creator whether we choose to believe it or not. He loves us whether we accept Him or not. He expects the same from us of His creations.

We must love our brothers and sisters, scars and all. What does it say about our love of The Creator if we don’t love His creations?

(Be sure to check out Scars part1 here)