Last Minute Shopping…
It’s getting down to the wire and I’m sure many of you are out or online doing some last minute shopping for the Christmas season. Those of you who know me, know how much I dislike the commercialism that has high-jacked this special time of year and continues to grow and suck the meaning and enjoyment from what should be a joyous time (sorry was I ranting again?). Of course one thing I can really get behind when it comes to gift giving is when it really has meaning and is truly a gift from the heart that may even change someones life. Please take a moment to check out the following video and prayerfully consider making a purchase that could really impact someones life.
Missions In Action: Philippines
Missions In Action is an interactive series that was created with the purpose to make a difference in the world. In this episode we follow Alex Boylan on a brief tour of the Philippines and meet some children sponsored by people just like you and me through Compassion International. We also meet a few not sponsored at this time but very much in need. Please take a few minutes out of you schedule to watch this touching video about the life of a few families in the Philippines.
I know not all of us have the time or resources to go on mission trips but if you can please take some time to check out Compassion International to learn how you could help today.
The Innocence of a Child…
“Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” -Mark 10:15 NIV
Recently, I was reminded of this verse when I heard about a friend of mine, that home schools her children. This year she started teaching her son about American History. She began a lesson on slavery and was bothered by the look of horror on her sons face as she taught him what we had done to people during that time.
I can only imagine how heart breaking it must be to a child to discover for the first time what we humans are actually capable of. His little heart does not yet have the capacity for the sin that our adults hearts have. I think as we grow older we fall into a kind of complacency with the evil around us. If it even bothers us at all it tends to anger or disgust us more than break our hearts. We become cynical and judgmental rather than empathize or sympathize with people and their struggles. The very behavior that makes us hate other may even be exhibited by us at times.
I know I find myself there very often. I have led quite a sinful life and I came to Christ in my mid-thirties. But, more often than not, instead of using my past experience to have this empathy or sympathy and to help others in need I find myself being disgusted by their behavior. Even though not too long ago I may have very well been walking in their shoes, on the very same path. If only we could keep those innocent eyes to see people with. That innocent, untainted heart to love them with. The same kind of eyes Jesus sees us with. The same kind of heart He loves us with. But, we have to mess it all up with our selfishness and our sinful nature.
We view pornography or fool around with our girlfriends or boyfriends thinking “what’s the big deal?” but all the while we are ruining our thoughts for our future spouses.
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” -Matthew 5:28 NIV
We smoke, drink or over-eat thinking “I can control it!” but it often leads to excessive or gluttonous tendencies, which are sinful.
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, …” -Galatians 5:16-26 ESV
We dislike those that are not like us which can lead to out-right hatred.
“But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.” -Matthew 5:22 NIV
I have spoken to various teenagers over the past few years and I’ve tried to explain to them, the opportunity they have to not pollute their minds and souls with the garbage that is out there, all around them. To keep their hearts and eyes as pure and innocent as possible so that when they do encounter this sinful world it might just break their heart rather than anger and disgust them.
This is something God is working on in my life and I ask for your prayers as I will pray for you to either keep yourself from this trap or for you to be pulled from it. I have found the current, “40 Days of Love” message series as well as the Life Groups study lifting me up and challenging me every day so far.
Thank you Father for renewing my heart and eyes so that I can see others as you see them.
-Rick Phillips
Another book that kicked my butt!!!
Over the span of time it took me to read Andy Stanley’s, Enemies of the Heart I have developed a love/hate relationship with the book and the author.
I love the openness Andy displays here. The four emotions that control us, guilt, anger, greed and jealousy, are dead on. This is also the reason I hate the book. Andy does such a great job explaining these enemies of the heart and helping us to see them in ourselves that I found the book kicking my butt all over the place. Of course, I’m sure that’s the point and in time I’ll find a way to thank Andy for helping me to see the enemies and how they have manifested themselves in my heart.
Seriously though, “Enemies of the Heart” has a great message and revelation. We all struggle with some form of each one of these heart conditions and they need to be addressed before we need spiritual CPR. This book will help you discover them in your heart and hopefully, help you perform some heart surgery on yourself.
Plaque can build up and cause blockage in our arteries. This blockage slows blood flow that damages the heart. Just like that plaque, each of the enemies discussed, guilt, anger, greed and jealousy, can build up and cause damage, ultimately blocking the flow of love Jesus intends to feed our hearts with.
Physical heart disease, left unchecked, can lead to physical death. Likewise, left unchecked, spiritual heart disease can lead to the death and destruction of marriages, families, friendships, careers…
Do yourself a favor, get a check up! The best way I know to start is with this book. Make your appointment now and purchase “Enemies of the Heart.” I can’t promise it won’t hurt but it will all be worth it in the end.
Andy Stanley is a pastor, communicator, author, and the founder of North Point Ministries, Inc. (NPM). Since its inception in 1995,North Point Ministries has grown from one campus to five in the Atlanta area and has helped plant over thirty strategic partner churches globally. Each Sunday, more than twenty-five thousand people attend worship services at one of North Point Ministries’ five campuses. Andy’s books include Communicating for a Change, The Next Generation Leader, How Good is Good Enough?and many more. He lives in Alpharetta, Georgia, with his wife, Sandra, and their three children.
FTC DISCLAIMER: “I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.
STAYING PURE WHEN WE’RE APART
I consider myself fortunate that my job does not take me away from home. But, I know many families that are not always so lucky. In the past I’ve been away from my wife for extended periods of time and know it can be difficult. When I came across the following post today from Justin Davis at www.refineus.org I knew i had to share it. Please read on and join me in praying for those families that must be separated due to their current or future work situations. Special thanks to Justin for allowing me to share this.
Trisha and I have spent more time apart this summer than we have at any time since our separation five and a half years ago. I’d be lying if I said that it hasn’t brought up questions and concerns and conversations. I’ve been free from pornography for almost six years. It no longer has a grip on my heart. But neither of us are stupid either. I’m one choice away from compromising my integrity; my relationship with God; my marriage; my boys. I know that. A lot of people travel. So I thought it would be helpful to share with you some of the things we think through when we’re apart. (If you’re not married yet, most of these principles will apply as well.)
-Recognize I’m in a Battle
There is a battle for my heart. There is a battle for my mind. The Apostle Paul in the New Testament says that, “Satan prowls like a lion, seeking someone to devour.” For so many years, I took this for granted. Purity will not be easy…I will have to fight for it. When Trisha is gone, or when I’m traveling, I am conscious of the battle I’m in. I pray about it. I read Scriptures about it. Knowing you’re in a battle is half the fight.
-Guard my eyes and my heart
I’m pretty selective about the TV shows I watch and the movies I watch anyway. I am very conscious of this when Trisha and I are apart. I’m not trying to be all legalistic or old fogey…but the purity of my heart and the intimacy of my marriage is much more important to me than a TV show or movie. I know that the Enemy can use things I see to trip me up…so I dial up my awareness and my standard when Trisha and I are apart.
-Pray a powerful prayer
One of my favorite Scriptures is a prayer that David prayed, that I pray at least once per day when Trisha and I are in different places. The prayer I pray is, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” When I’m willing to pray this prayer, and truly mean it, I’m allowing God into all of my heart.
Trying not to lust doesn’t work. Trying not to look at pornography doesn’t work. Trying not to do something you know you shouldn’t do never gives you the results you want.
Engage in the battle.
Choose to guard your mind.
Allow God into the darker parts of your heart.
Purity is possible!
How do you pursue purity when you’re away from your spouse?
How do you communicate?
With all of the choices we have now, communication can actually be more challenging and difficult. It used to be so easy. You called someone and if they weren’t there you called back. Now, there’s texting, email, phone calls, voicemail and a wide range of social media. Laptops, desktops, cell phones, iPods, iPads, all of which can access any of the infinite tools we have to disseminate information and communicate.
With all of these options at our fingertips it’s easy to have messages strewn across 10-20 different apps or programs. This makes it easier to overlook something important and miss out or mess up. I have method to my communications madness. I make no claims that it’s better than any other but it works well for me.
Phone calls/voicemail: If I receive a phone call and the caller does not leave a message I DO NOT return the call. I have had too many negative experiences returning calls from caller ID. I know some people do but I just choose not to. If I call someone else and I don’t leave a message I don’t expect a call back. If it’s important I’ll leave a message or I’ll even text them and ask them to call me when they are free. A lot of the time if I see someone left a voicemail I will call them back without even listening to the message. Weird? Maybe but it’s what I do.
Texting: I typically use this for brief messages. Texting is a wonderful invention for those short little statements or questions. “On my way home”, “what do you want from Wendy’s?”, “call me when u can”, “love you”. If you want to converse with me, call me. I don’t like texting enough to type out long messages. I’d rather just talk on the phone if I have the time.
Twitter: I love Twitter! I use it to gather information mostly. Twitter posts usually need to add value to my life. If someone I am following posts too much about personal stuff or rants about politics etc. I stop following them.
Facebook: This is a great tool for catching up with old friends and family. It drives me crazy when people use it in place of email. I don’t look at it that much. My Twitter feed updates to my Facebook so it may look like I’m on a lot but I’m not. Also, Facebook seems to like changing my settings so I get flooded with emails from them so I have created an email address that I don’t check or use at all for that account.
Email: Hey, call me old but I still love my email. I forward Tweets to my email so I can look at them later. I email myself notes all the time. I use my email INBOX as my life inbox. If it needs done by me the best way to get me to do it is by sending me an email. For me, email is still the best place to store, sort and search information. I also don’t “play” with email. My spam filters are set high and if it has FWD in the subject I tend to delete it fast. I love jokes and have a great sense of humor but I just have no time for distractions in my INBOX.
How about you?
Addendum: I realized that I left out the most important form of communication TALKING! Often imitated never duplicated. None of the above forms, methods, or tools can replace genuine face-to-face conversation. Tone, inflection, feeling, passion are all important pieces to our communication and none of them can be expressed better than in person.
Scars part 2
In my previous post we reflected on our own scars but what about the scars of others? Often we judge or define others by their scars?
The “monster” in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was misunderstood, feared and hated for how he appeared. Because of his scars (his differences) he was branded a monster. Later in the story he succumbed and actually became the monster others had labeled him.
I fear that we do this to people all the time. I know I’ve been guilty of it. I also know others have done it to me.
“She comes from a broken home so she must be broken.” “He grew up on the wrong side of the tracks so he must be trouble.” How can people be expected to over-come and heal their scars if they are constantly labeled, judged and beat down because of them. We are commanded many times over to love one another. John 13:34 NIV – A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 1 John 3:11 NIV - For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 1 John 4:11 NIV – Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. There’s nothing written anywhere in scripture that adds: “…if you want to” or “…only if they’re like minded or the same race or share the same political views.” But we continue to see others as “monsters” if they don’t conform to our standard of normal or if they don’t live up to what WE believe they should be like. We are all created by God for a reason. We should strive to become what God has designed us for not wh
at society or man “expects” of us. Therefore, we should not have our own preconceived design for others other than to become what God is calling them to become.
Now the Bible clearly sets a standard as to how God would have us live our lives and unfortunately many choose to live far from that standard. But it is Gods standard, to be judged by God. We are only to love God and love others. We are formed by the same creator whether we choose to believe it or not. He loves us whether we accept Him or not. He expects the same from us of His creations.
We must love our brothers and sisters, scars and all. What does it say about our love of The Creator if we don’t love His creations?
(Be sure to check out Scars part1 here)
Scars part 1
When I joined the US Army in 1987 we went through a physical exam where they asked if we had any scars. This was evidently for use in identifying your body should it be rendered unidentifiable by other means.
For some reason I started thinking about that the other day. Do my scars identify me or do I allow God to shape me from them? Maybe you were abused or neglected as a child. Maybe you’re a victim of sexual assault or abuse. Whatever the case may be we are all left with scars big or small from our past in some way, shape or form. But how do we handle them? Do we let ourselves be defined or identified by our scars or do we use the scars to shape us into something more? Do we remain victims? Do we hide from the scars or hide them from others in shame? I think all too often this is the case.
I have emotional scars from my past as well as physical ones. One in particular, physical one, is on my forehead. I have carried this scar since the age of 1 year. It is from an act of disobedience and defiance towards my mother. As the story was told to me, I had recently learned to walk and was out on a bright sunny day with my mom. I evidently decided I could walk just fine on my own without any assistance. My mother felt otherwise and requested that I wait for her and hold her hand. I then decided to use the first word I had learned “NO” at this point I fell and discovered a rock lying on the sidewalk, with my forehead. Now, I did not let this scar define me as a defiant or ignorant little boy but I allowed it to shape me a little. I learned, somewhat, at least at that moment, from the experience that I could not always do things on my own. I see this scar every day when I look in the mirror. I use it as a reminder that I often need help (something I’m, sometimes bad at admitting.)
The emotional scars we all carry can and should be used in the same way. We need to take those scars and the things we have learned from them and use that not only to better ourselves but to benefit others.
Who better to help victims of abuse but other victims of abuse? In many ways a drug addict or alcoholic, post treatment, can relate better to another that is struggling with the same and offer real and practical advice.
Our history is our story. If we let it, it can shape and mold us for the future rather than define, identify or even chain us with the past. God can use our past… good, bad or ugly… smart or stupid, to His glory and the benefit of others if we just open ourselves up to it and pray that he will. I challenge you today to allow Him to use you this way. Let me know how it turns out.
(Be sure to check out Scars part2 here)
Courageous
Last week I had the opportunity to attend a pre-screening of a movie with my with my wonderful wife, Jenni (yay date night). “Courageous” is from the makers of last years “Fireproof”. Also, “Facing the Giants” and “Flywheel”. I have always enjoyed their movies but I have to say I was not prepared for last night. I was absolutely blown away. I can honestly say this movie was the best movie I have ever seen. There is over-the-top, marked improvement in filming and acting on all levels. But also, the films over-all message was amazing and dead-on. In the span of the movie Jenni and I ran a gambit of feelings, excitement, fear, caring, anger, hope, loss, love, compassion, even humor, it’s all there.
While the movie is from a Christian organization, I felt, that they worked hard to and achieved a blend of the elements of a fallen, corrupt world without compromising the integrity of their core beliefs. This film proves that you can have high quality action and drama without all of the sex, extreme violence and foul language that is so typical these days in movies. All too often in Hollywood these elements seem forced into a script just to attain a different rating and increase potential ticket sales when the film would do fine, maybe even better without it.
All too often “Christian based” films have come across as cheesy or preachy. Courageous does not. There is a strong and firm stance of the underlying message but again it is blended well with the whole script. No one can deny message supported by the film that men need to step up as fathers and husbands. We all fall short of what we should be. Through the five main characters men will find themselves relating on multiple levels with each of them in their fears, failures and victories.
Big things will happen when Courageous releases September 30th. I for one intend to be prepared. This film needs to be shared with our friends and families. The message in it is all too important to miss out on. You can learn more about Courageous at www.courageousmovie.com or ask me by commenting here or by email.
Life Without Limits
Every once in a while I read a book and I get the sense that I know what it’s all about before I’m through the first few pages. That’s exactly how I felt with “Life Without Limits” by Nick Vujicic (pronounced Voy-a-chich) <yeah I always wondered too>. But something drew me in and compelled me to keep reading. Nick’s outlook on life and the stories he tells in this book are amazing testimonies to God and His ability to use us for His glory.
Nick Vujicic was born with no arms and no legs. He does have a left foot of sorts that he quite capable with. I expected more of an inside peek into Nick’s life and how he grew up but what this book offers is a look into his and others souls. The amazing things that God has been able to accomplish through this young man are an inspiration. He also introduces us to some other inspiring individuals that he has been blessed to meet and know through his travels and shows us how God is using them too.
I love to see examples of God at work around us in everyday life and that work is apparent in Nick and those he has been blessed to reach. I saw him speak once on TV and was quite impressed by his mobility but more so by his attitude which he spreads around the world through his speaking tours as well as from the pages of this book. Some may feel sorry for him but I have to say I’m a bit jealous and embarrassed. I’m 40 years old and have all of my limbs and I haven’t done a fraction of the things he’s done. Not just the exciting, dare-devil things like surfing and scuba diving but more importantly, the God-driven outreach and mission work that Nick has done.
Nick shows us what it is to really be the hands and feet of Jesus and he doesn’t have any of his own.
FTC DISCLAIMER: “I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.
How Good Is Good Enough?
All good people go to Heaven, right? What classifies as good? What percentage of good do I need in my life to counter-balance the bad? How many of the Ten Commandments do I really need to keep, if any? Who makes the final call? Did Mother Teresa throw of the cosmic grading curve for us all? These and many more questions are explored in Andy Stanley’s book “How Good Is Good Enough?”
If you’ve always or never asked these questions or never truly explored the answers I urge you to take a moment out of your schedule to read this book. Come on, it’ll take less than two hours. I promise you won’t be disappointed.
This little book is a short read but I pray that for many, it will have an eternal impact. Andy Stanley has done a tremendous job of compiling, simplifying and condensing the hurdles a person most often faces in accepting Jesus as their savior. In only 92 pages many questions are explored and answered and in the end the big secret is revealed… “What does it really take to get to Heaven?”
For the Christian this material is, hopefully, nothing new. It is however a new and refreshing way to view it and to relay it to others.
This is a great tool for anyone wishing to speak to others about Christ. I just learned that our church has ordered 60 copies to give to first time guests. I’ super excited to see the Kingdom impact that will have. I also can’t wait to pass my copy on to a list of people that I have been praying for, for quite some time now.
Andy Stanley serves as senior pastor of the campuses of North Point Ministries, including North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, Georgia; Buckhead Church in Atlanta, Georgia; and Browns Bridge Community Church in Cumming, Georgia. Each Sunday, more than twenty thousand attend one of these NPM campuses. Andy is the bestselling author of Visioneering, The Next Generation Leader, It Came from Within!, and How Good Is Good Enough? Andy and his wife, Sandra, have two sons and a daughter.
FTC DISCLAIMER: “I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.
Forgotten God
As you can see from the majority of my posts I like to read and share about the books. I tend not to buy books these days since I have a large selection from the publishers I do reviews for. I do tend to pick books that peak my interest and “Forgotten God” is no exception to the peaked my interest category however I did buy this book. <GASP> Yes, I parted with $14.99 and made this purchase but now that I have finished the book I believe that it was very much due to a prompting from The Holy Spirit.
<Double GASP>”did he say the Holy Spirit told him to buy a book? Oh, great, now he’s really lost his mind!” Say what you will but this book by Francis Chan is turning my world upside down. I can’t even give him the credit. It is from an opening of his life to the Spirit that even put these words on paper.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe all of the books in my previous postings are God and Spirit inspired and the authors have truly embraced and obeyed the calling of the Spirit. But, Forgotten God has helped me to better understand how to put all of that and all of this “Jesus stuff” into perspective. The perspective that I believe God intended.
I love to tell my story as well as hear other’s testimonies to how their lives have changed through an acceptance of Jesus Christ as their saviour. Now, I better understand why though. It’s because a these stories are a testimony to an amazing God. They are evidence of the Holy Spirit acting in people’s lives.
We all too often take or give credit to those performing some act or feat when in fact the credit goes to the one who gave them that gift or ability in the first place. The glory goes to the Holy Spirit in them. I’m not here to debate the Trinity either. (just read the book) Jesus Himself told the disciples in John 16:7 “But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.” The Counselor He speaks of is the Holy Spirit promised in John 14:16-17 “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever– the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.”
I’m also not hear to “officially review” this book I am simply responding to a calling to pass on this knowledge as Francis Chan has done in writing the book. I know the words “Holy Spirit” raise concern or caution for many people but just read the book and you’ll understand. Here’s a tasty quote that should smack us all upside the head…
“You would think that learning more about God would be a good thing… and it can be. But when we gain knowledge about God without responding to Him or assimilating His truths into our lives, then it is not a good thing. According to the Bible it’s sin.”
So, trust me get this book and read it! You can find it anywhere. And, thank you Holy Spirit for inspiring and engaging Francis Chan and all those involved in “Forgotten God.” To God be the glory.
Soulprint
Author and Pastor Mark Batterson knocks another one out the park with “SoulPrint: Discovering Your Divine Destiny.”
There never has been and never will be anyone quite like you. But that isn’t a testament to you. It’s a testament to the God who created you. Unfortunately, many of us go through most or all of our lives without discovering our unique God-given identity or “soulprint.” In this book Mark takes on a journey with King David that helps us to reveal our own soulprints.
In a world where we are told what and how to be by television, magazines and movies every time we turn around, “Soulprint” encourages us to be unique, just as we were created. There’s no denying that David was a unique individual. Just as God created him He has created each and every one of us as a unique person on a life mission that is as unique as we are. To lead a life that does not pursue this mission that has been designed especially for us is to waste a life that was important enough to the Creator to be given in the first place. Our acceptance or denial of this mission not only affects our own lives but it affects the lives of those God has put around us.
A legacy has been left for you to fulfill. Discovering and using your “soulprint” will help you to better understand yourself and to be more God-honoring and obedient in all that you do. I challenge you to read this book and walk away the same.
Mark Batterson serves as lead pastor of National Community Church (www.theaterchurch.com) in Washington, D.C. NCC was recognized as one of the most innovative and influential churches in America by Outreach Magazine in 2008. One church with ten services in six locations, NCC meets in movie theaters at metro stops throughout the D.C. area. NCC also owns and operates thelargest coffeehouse on Capitol Hill, Ebenezers, which was recently recognized as the #1 coffeehouse in the metro D.C. area by AOL CityGuide. He is a daily blogger at www.markbatterson.com and the author of the bestselling In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, Wild Goose Chase, and Primal: A Quest for the Lost Soul of Christianity. Mark and his wife, Lora, live on Capitol Hill with their three children.
FTC DISCLAIMER: “I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.
Love and War Devotional for Couples
Let’s be honest, marriage is difficult at times. Early in our Christian walk together my wife and I were blessed to have friends strong in faith that suggested praying and doing devotionals together. We started with an excellent couples devotional truly inspired and inspiring. However, we soon discovered that book was a minority among couples devotionals. The others we came across were just… ok, and nothing like the first one, until now. “Love & War” by John and Stasi Eldredge has ranked up there with us.
John & Stasi Eldredge
The Eldredge’s have compiled a devotional for couples that is not only inspiring and thought provoking but challenging and confirming. Aptly named “Love & War”, this book captures many of the struggles and victories that we have encountered in our 22 years and helps to reveal how God can, does and will use our differences as men and women to compliment and enhance each others lives. I often strongly urge couples to pray and study God’s word together and this is a good book to help guide you through that. I do feel I have to warn you though. As with anything good in your life or marriage the enemy hates it and will throw challenges your way as you take this journey together. We take that as an indicator that we are on to something good and trust in God to protect us and guide us through it as He has done once again.
So, take the plunge and check out this book, you won’t be sorry.
FTC DISCLAIMER: “I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.
Guest blogging
I’m over here this week. Check out the group blog project I took part in for Less Clutter Less Noise by Kem Meyer. An excellent book on communications.
Modern Day Plague
I came across the poem below on Tim Challies’ blog. It is an amazing yet frightening look into a devastating problem in our world. An epidemic that is commonly ignored and seldom talked about. A plague that wrecks more individuals and families lives than we may ever know. This poem speaks volumes from the side of the often overlooked victims of this horrific affliction.
“I Looked For Love in Your Eyes.”
I saved my best for you.
Other girls may have given themselves away,
But I believed in the dream.
A husband, a wife, united as one forever.
Nervous, first time, needing assurance of your love,
I looked for it in your eyes
Mere inches from mine.
But what I saw made my soul run and hide.
Gone was the tenderness I’d come to know
I saw a stranger, cold and hard
Distant, evil, revolting.
I looked for love in your eyes
And my soul wept.
Who am I that you cannot make love to me?
Why do I feel as if I’m not even here?
I don’t matter.
I’m a prop in a filthy play.
Not an object of tender devotion.
Where are you?
Years pass
But the hardness in your eyes does not.
You think I’m cold
But how can I warm to eyes that are making hate to someone else
Instead of making love to me?
I know where you are.
I’ve seen the pictures.
I know now what it takes to turn you on.
Women…people like me
Tortured, humiliated, hated, used
Discarded.
Images burned into your brain.
How could you think they would not show in your eyes?
Did you ever imagine,
The first time you picked up a dirty picture
That you were dooming all intimacy between us
Shipwrecking your marriage
Breaking the heart of a wife you wouldn’t meet for many years?
If it stopped here, I could bear it.
But you brought the evil into our home
And our little boys found it.
Six and eight years old.
I heard them laughing, I found them ogling.
Hands bound, mouth gagged.
Fisheye photo, contorting reality
Distorting the woman into exaggerated breasts.
The haunted eyes, windows of a tormented soul
Warped by the lens into the background,
Because souls don’t matter, only bodies do
To men who consume them.
Little boys
My little boys
Laughing and ogling the sexual torture
Of a woman, a woman like me.
Someone like me.
An image burned into their brains.
Will their wives’ souls have to run and hide like mine does?
When does it end?
I can tell you this. It has not ended in your soul.
It has eaten you up. It is cancer.
Do you think you can feed on a diet of hatred
And come out of your locked room to love?
You say the words, but love has no meaning in your mouth
When hatred rules in your heart.
Your cruelty has eaten up every vestige of the man
I thought I was marrying.
Did you ever dream it would so consume you
That your wife and children would live in fear of your rage?
That is what you have become
Feeding your soul on poison.
I’ve never used porn.
But it has devastated my marriage, my family, my world.
Was it worth it?
If you are struggling with porn, or seeking to help someone who is, there is help:
- Tim Chester, Closing the Window: Steps to Living Porn Free
- Tim Challies, Sexual Detox: A Guide for Guys who are Sick of Porn
- Brian Croft, Help! He’s Struggling with Pornography
Some free resources below:
- R. Albert Mohler Jr., “The Seduction of Pornography and the Integrity of Christian Marriage” (talk to college students: PDF, MP3)
- David Powlison, “Breaking Pornography Addiction” (article: part 1, part 2)
- David Powlison, Making All Things New: Restoring Pure Joy to the Sexually Broken(conference talk: audio, video, and chapter)
- John Piper, Battling the Unbelief of Lust (sermon in manuscript, audio)
- John Piper, A.N.T.H.E.M: Strategies for Fighting Sexual Lust (article)
- Mark Driscoll, Porn-Again Christian (free eBook)
- Rick Holland, A Biblical Strategy for Fighting Lust (conference talk; see relatedmanuscript)
The above material was originally listed at thegospelcoalition.org.
Another great resource is heartsupport.com. Please be aware and beware of this evil affliction that is decimating lives and relationships young and old
Do you know your chazown?
You were born with your own Chazown. Do you know what it is? First off we need to define the word. Chazown: (pronounced khaw-ZONE) from the Hebrew, meaning a dream, revelation, or vision. Now check out Craig Groeschel’s book “Chazown, Define Your Vision. Pursue Your Passion. Live Your Life on Purpose” for help finding your own personal chazown.
I have been truly inspired and challenged by Craig Groeshel’s preaching and the vision he has been given for LifeChurch. Their willingness to share the gifts, knowledge and creativity that God has given them is a lesson for all churches. But, I had not yet read any of Craig’s books until now. “Chazown” does not disappoint. Craig takes the reader through an easy, step by step of discovering God’s vision for your life that works for all, young or old, new or long time believer. “Chazown” is challenging, inspiring and affirming. I’ve read a lot of books on discovering purpose and I can’t find anything Craig missed in this journey.
Each of us has a chazown, as it has been said before “God don’t make junk.” He has created every one of us with a purpose in life whether we choose to discover that purpose and seize it is entirely up to us. “Chazown” can certainly be that next step for you.
For a brief word from Craig on “Chazown” watch the video below.
Thank you Craig for listening and obeying your chazown in writing this book. God Bless.
FTC DISCLAIMER: “I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”.
Make a Difference…
So I have decided that my mantra for 2011 is “Be bolder in everything.” I’ll write more on that later, but one of the ways I intend to be bolder is in helping others not just within my circle of influence but outside it as well. With that in mind I am looking through the Gifts of Compassion Catalog trying to decide what I will purchase. If you haven’t seen it yet or heard of it please take a moment and check it out. For as little as $10 you can help make a difference in someones life. Also, take the time to pray and consider sponsoring a child at Compassion International. All it takes is $38 dollars a month to change a life forever.
I spend a lot of time on the roof and my shoes are full of sand…
The other day I was contemplating Proverbs 21:9 and 19 “It’s better to stay outside on the roof of your house than to live inside with a nagging wife.” And “It’s better out in the desert than at home with a nagging, complaining wife.”
Really? Is that sound marital advice? I can’t see paying a counselor to tell me “Well Mr. Phillips how’s your roof?” or “have you considered vacationing in the Sahara, alone?” That can’t be right. So, I started thinking would I really rather be on the roof or in the desert than to listen to my wife nag? Well, yea, probably. (ok, Jenni, don’t stop reading yet, I have a point here)
But, really, why would she be nagging me? Most likely, from something I have done to warrant it. What is it to nag? <Nag: verb – to find fault or complain in an irritating, wearisome, or relentless manner>. Notice the word wearisome. Ok guys it’s confession time how many of you cause your spouses to be weary from repeated asking or requesting? Please take out the trash etc. Ring a bell guys? I know I’m uber guilty. So is it better to get out the ladder and head to the roof or trek into the Sahara? Not really except when you consider how most of us guys respond to our wives “wearisome, relentless requests” What do we do fellas? Am I alone here? I usually ignore it or shove back and start some goofy, unnecessary argument over some simple request. I get all busy with some other “important” project, like writing this blog right now instead of the simple task my wife asked me to do about an hour or so ago. While I have known my wife to “nag”, I can’t think of a single time it wasn’t brought on by something I could have done to keep her from going that route.
So, gentlemen, are we better off rooftop or camel riding? No, not really but if we respond the way we normally do, maybe we are. Proverbs 18:22 says “A man’s greatest treasure is his wife– she is a gift from the LORD.” Shouldn’t we treat gifts from the Lord with love and cherish them? Shouldn’t we want to care for, serve and love our bride the way Christ cares for, serves and loves His bride (us, the Church)? So, here’s my challenge: for the next week super serve your wife. If she asks you to do something for her get up and do it, then, not when you get around to it. If she asked you to do it, it’s important to her. If it’s important to her it should be important to you. Or how about this, do something for her before she asks. Now, there’s a crazy thought. Let’s do it together, brothers.
FYI: If she asks why your doing this don’t tell her “because that stupid bald guy challenged me to!!” Tell her it’s because you love her and cherish her.
Far from God
I hate the phrase “far from God.” It implies that we could escape God. As much as we may try that is not possible. You could be far from His ways and teachings but as soon as you turn to Him He is right there to lift you up. You may have turned your back on Him but He is still pursuing your heart, let Him in.
It’s like the phrase “wherever you go there you are.” The same is true of Him “wherever you go there HE is.” We can’t escape His loving arms but we sure can and do waste a lot of time trying.
In this mortal life, He never leaves us. It doesn’t matter the circumstances of your conception, birth or upbringing. It doesn’t even matter what kind of a mess you have turned your life into, God created each and every one of us out of love. Because of that love for us all He sent His one only son to die for us so that we don’t have to. Would you sacrifice your only child for another person or people if you didn’t want them around?
You serve a purpose. You may not know what it is but God does. So, if He created us all and we were created for a purpose that He knows about how could we be far from Him? He planned us and has plans for us. That sounds like an investment on His part. Why not explore the possibilities? Invest in Him, He’s not far from you.
Live or die?
Do you know anyone that is just sitting around waiting to die? I see it all the time in people usually 40 or older that think their life’s goal or mission is over. Your life mission isn’t over until your life is over.
Their kids grow up and leave the nest so it’s all over, or they retire and act as if they have no purpose left in life. Even others, lose a loved one and act as if they are the one that has died. Then they all sit around waiting for death to take them.
It’s sad to see, really. This life is not over until the last breath escapes our bodies. But then there is an eternity to be spent where we choose to spend it. There is an eternal life or an eternal death. The first part of Psalm 49: 10 says “We see that wise people die, and so do stupid fools.” So, we all fit one of those two categories, either wise or stupid and both of those groups are going to die. John 5:24 tells us “…whoever hears my word and believes Him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.” (BTW, I’m not saying one belief or the other is wise or stupid. I know a lot of non-believers that are very intelligent and I know a lot of believers that aren’t playing with a full deck.)
I believe God can and will use each and every one of us even in the memory of others beyond our death. If we just open our hearts and minds to Him, He will enrich and fulfill our current lives beyond anything we could ever imagine.
I also believe there is evidence that God uses us all, whether we turn to Him or not. You may give in to the destructiveness of alcohol or drug addiction and your family or friends vow never to let it ruin their lives like it has yours. You may be mean and hateful or endlessly negative, causing others around you to not want to be like you. So, God can use that all to help and inspire others but why live as a bad example? Why let your life story be a “what not to do book”? Why not open up your heart and mind and become an active part of God’s kingdom building.
Of course now you may be saying “You don’t know what I’ve done.” Quite frankly, I don’t care and neither does God as long as you confess it to Him. Here’s a little secret: He already knows what you’ve done. And, He’s already forgiven it through His son Jesus. He’s just waiting for you to bring it to Him and confess it.
Trust me I spent many, many years of my life being a poster child for “What not to do” as a husband, father, friend, business owner, employer… you name it I’ve screwed it up in one way or another. Truthfully, I still screw up. We all do, but now I have some guidance and direction to get back on track where before I just plowed that train right through no matter who or what I took out in my path.
So, what do you say are you ready to keep on living? There’s more to life than “this life.” It’s not really over when it’s over. The Bible tells us there is an eternity. Where will you spend yours?
Empty Nest
I hate the term “empty nest”. Yesterday we took our daughter, Marissa, to Anderson University for her first year of college. Of course I’ve run through the whole gamut of emotions as I’m sure I will continue to do over the next few weeks, months or maybe years but over-all I’m good. After seeing her face the first time I visited the campus with her and the peace that came over me for her while there I could’t help but be ok with it. I’m secure in the knowledge that that is where God has led her to be.
But “empty nest” implies a loss. While I am currently experiencing an absence of her in our home at the same time I am experiencing a fullness of her in my heart. I’ve heard many people describe this moment as if a piece of you has been removed or of having this hole in your heart. I don’t see it that way though. My daughter was and still is instrumental in the expansion and growth of my heart. If it weren’t for her and my wife and the unconditional love they poured into my life I may never have discovered and better understood the love that Jesus has for us all. I look at it more as my heart is being stretched to a larger capacity (over 86.41 miles to be exact). My love for Marissa is growing stronger and becoming more evident in her (temporary) absence.
I am so proud of her for the faith, strength, courage, discernment and wisdom she has displayed over the past few years. She has become such an amazing young lady. I feel that we have prepared her the best we could but more importantly, I know God has prepared her. So, I may be a little sad but I have no fear for her.
I can’t wait to see what’s next… (I love you Boo)
Everyone Communicates, Few Connect
While I found this book to be relatively easy to read and informational I couldn’t help but to be disappointed. John Maxwell has done a great job of motivating his readers but he seems to have all but abandoned his Christian roots. With his circle of influence he could do such great things for Gods Kingdom but he has chosen to remain silent. As a book on communication I would rate it okay maybe even above average. However, as a book from a Christian author and publisher I would rate it poor. It saddened me to see so many missed opportunities to share Gods word in a relevant and relative way with those that might otherwise pay no attention.
This book can be purchased at www.christianbook.com
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Everything HE Has…
Last night I attended a memorial service for Emma Faith Ullery. Emma was born with Trisomy 18 and she only lived for about two hours but God has used her to impact many. The faith displayed by Emma’s parents, Kyle and Corie, was inspiring. They only had a brief time with her but they praised and thanked God for that time. In the service Pastor Rollie mentioned how Kyle’s grandpa talked about how, right now, they were seeing everything God has to offer.
That made me reflect on the amazing gift that God gives us over the span of our life. What usually took years to witness was unfolding before us in the last few days. They experienced the courage and strength to get through this that comes from strong faith, trust and belief in Christ. They experienced the power of prayer as hundreds or more called out to God for those precious moments He blessed them with. They experienced the wonder of life as Emma was born. They experienced the community of family and friends as all gathered around. They experienced love as they held Emma. They experienced death as Emma went home, to be with the One who had created her. They experienced fellowship as their brothers and sisters in Christ gathered around them, lifted them up in prayer and loved them. And finally, they experienced the comfort and calming of a loving God. It was the whole cycle of life in fast forward. Everything our God offers us… we just need to accept it and Him through His son Jesus Christ.
It has been amazing and overwhelming to have experienced this gift all at once. To see it played out so briefly but so powerfully. It takes most of us many years to realize and experience this gift let alone to appreciate it for the blessing it really is and many never reach that point.
Thank you Kyle and Corie for the example of shear faith you have been to us all and thank you LORD for being the awesome God that you are.
For those of you unfamiliar with Trisomy 18 here is a video from another family that experienced it too and a tremendous display of their faith and courage in God.
