My Jenniverse
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. -1Peter3:1-6
I am married to the most patient, kind, caring women I have ever known. 1 Peter 3:1-6 is what I call my Jenniverse. My wife, Jenni, often times unknowingly followed Gods command here in dealing with me, long before I became a believer. The first time I read these words I saw her reflection in the page.
I know a number of women struggle with the fact that their husbands don’t go to church with them or don’t follow or believe in Jesus. My wife was one of them for the first 17 1/2 years of our marriage. But through her obedience in 1 Peter3:1-6 I saw Jesus reflected in her actions and lifestyle. Not through her arguing, nagging, begging and pleading for me to “try out church” (although she did her fair share of that too).
Ladies I know it’s tough sometimes. At times I look back on what I put her through and get sick about it. But just keep this scripture handy and truly live it out and watch what happens.
Answered Prayer?
Does God only answer the prayers of the believer?
Some would say scripture supports that only the prayers of the believer can and will be heard by God, other than the prayer of salvation of the non-believer.
Psalm 66:18 says, “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened”. Isaiah 1:15 says, “When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen.” And Proverbs 28:9 has, “If anyone turns a deaf ear to the law, even his prayers are detestable.”
These scriptures might support that but can’t a believer also fit here? Can a believer “…cherish sin in his heart”? or “…turn a deaf ear to the law”? I have, and I don’t question my salvation, I know in my heart that Jesus Christ died for my sins as well as the sins of all man, even the ones that choose never to believe in Him. The difference is where that salvation will take me and where that missing salvation will take them. But, that’s another discussion. Let’s get back to prayer?
Now, I’m not talking about prosperity prayers or prayers that are self centered in nature. I don’t believe those are answered for anyone if it is outside God’s plan. I’m talking about righteous prayer that is in line with God’s will.
Long, before I was a believer I prayed for the safety of my wife and unborn daughter through a difficult child-birth. My daughter is now 18 years old, healthy and a faithful servant of Christ. Wait a minute, I’ve only been saved 4 1/2 years?!? But, isn’t that an answered prayer? I also added in “I’ll straighten up and change my ways…” Some would say I’ve done that and some would say that is an answered prayer for them too but that event occurred 14 years later. All in God’s timing not man’s, maybe? If, God had not answered that prayer, if Jenni or Marissa or both had not made it through would that have driven me further from God? Was this a coincidence or was this the starting point of a belief that would eventually emerge in my life. There were other times I prayed. I prayed for a safe return from The Gulf War. I made it home, some didn’t. That was even two years before that prayer for Jenni and Marissa. If I hadn’t prayed for that safe return or if God had ignored that prayer because I didn’t believe, where would I be? Where would Jenni be? Would Marissa be?Again, as far as we can tell, these prayers appear to line up with God’s will. You could say the prayer for a safe return was a selfish one but I had a wife, who would become an amazing sister in Christ, to return to. And a, yet to be conceived, daughter that is now turning into that same kind of woman. That is now an answered prayer of mine, albeit after the fact of my salvation.
Muscles don’t just appear one day. We have to build them. How can we build our faith muscles if we don’t excercise them? And how can we reach the strength to take that first huge step and ask for God’s forgiveness if we don’t exercise a little first? I’m not saying that’s all it takes but it’s a flex in the right direction.
God saved me from what I had turned my life into. I know that is an answered prayer of my wife’s. But, God gave me the life I was ruining. Maybe that initial life was an answer to someone else’s prayer. Where they a believer? Will they be someday because of that first step 40 some years ago?
What say you? Is prayer a private club only for the members that “said the oath” or is more than that? I would love to hear your thoughts.
What’s Next…
Last week my daughter, Marissa, graduated from high school. Being a member of the school board, I actually got to hand her the diploma. She was also in the top 10 of her class, received numerous honors, some great scholarships and gave the benediction. What a proud moment it was for me and Jenni. But, I think I tend to be more of a realist when it comes to these types of things. Our kids grow up. It’s an inevitability, we can’t stop it, so why not embrace it for the momentous occasion it is.
While I remember and cherish the memories of her first steps, I celebrate her accomplishments that have now led her to her next steps. She will be going off to Anderson University in August, just days after she turns 18. I am confident that she is ready for it. Through her choices in life, so far, and her faith and beliefs, she has instilled in me a sense of comfort that makes it easier to let her go.
I do hope that I have been able to help her learn and grow over the years. I pray that she has been able to learn from the stupid things she has seen me do, in my life. I have given her the opportunity to learn from my mistakes more often than not. Even though I am the parent, I feel as if I have learned more from her than she has from me, over the years. I think I have a better understanding of unconditional love. I have grown closer to God by better understanding the sacrifice He made for us in His own Son. Not necessarily the why, but a better understanding of the love He has for man to have given His Son’s life for our own. While I would lay down my life for her, I cannot fathom seeing her hurt for others.
While I want Marissa to experience only good things in life I know that is not realistic so I pray for strength and courage
for her. I pray that she will learn and grow from the right and wrong, the good and bad. But, more importantly I pray for a continued, strong support system of friends and family and the wisdom for her to rely on them.
I anxiously await whatever comes next in her life. I joke with her a lot about boyfriends and such but I have been praying for a special man for her for some time now. I pray that he will be a Godly man, a good husband and father. That he will not only provide for her physical and financial needs but for her spiritual needs as well.
I will always have fond memories of her childhood but I am so excited to see how God will work in her life next. I love you Boo.
I Love My Crown
I know we’re supposed to be humble and all but I am so proud to wear my crown. Proverbs 12:4 tells us “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband.” I’ve heard guys say they have the best wife ever but I would have to say they are either mistaken or lying because I have that honor. Jenni and I have been married for just over 20 years now and if you ever needed proof that there is a God and he watches over us and gives us strength she is a testimony to that because I’ve been no picnic.
When Jenni and I first decided to get married she asked me if I believed in God. I grew up not really thinking or talking about God or religion much. The only family member that I knew that had anything to do with that “God stuff” didn’t exactly set a shining example. So, I just kind of didn’t think about it much. Well, when she asked me that question I sorta lied and told her yes. She had been recently saved and it seemed to mean a lot to her and I was in love with her and not losing her meant a lot to me. (hey don’t judge me, she was and is awesome and I knew it)
I think she soon found out that I either lied or had no clue what believing in God meant. But she hung in there. Sometimes by the skin of her teeth and sometimes only by Jesus and her friends holding her up.
I don’t want to paint myself up to be this horrible person or anything but I was not the husband I should have been. Sure, I loved her but my own selfish agenda always seemed to rule out. My life was all about me and she more often than not conceded at least enough to appease me. (And believe me when I say I did some stupid stuff)
But, no matter how bad I sabotaged our marriage or my own life she was there and so was Christ. He showed her how to love me in spite of the pain I caused. He showed her how to shine His light even when I was in the darkest of places. Through the grace that He showed her when she never deserved it she was able to show me that same grace when I certainly didn’t deserve it.
Finally, after over 16 years of prayer and petition and undying love and grace, I opened my thick skull, removed the scales from my eyes and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior.
I still so don’t deserve the blessing that God has given me in my wife but I will proudly wear that crown. Thank You Lord and thank you Jenni. I love you.
What I want for my daughter…
This is my daughter, Marissa. I know things can’t be perfect for her all her life. But if I can do anything to protect or prepare her for troubled times I desperately want to do that. She recently started driving which I am excited about for her but at the same time it scares the crap out of me. She has begun to look at colleges and is exploring her options of career choices. Again, a very exciting time to share with her but it means time is short. Have I given her my all? Is she ready for what lies ahead? Although I’m sure I wasn’t the father she deserved at times. I hope and pray I have been the best father I could be and that she can forgive me for the rest. I want her to always know, as long as I hold breath in my body, I am here for her, no matter what. There is nothing she can’t bring to me or ask me.
There are certain things I want for her in her life.
- I want her to pursue Christ… I want her to live a Godly life and never stop following Christ and reaching others for Him.
- I want her to know she is beautiful… We are all created in God’s image and that makes us all beautiful, so many women never hear enough, how beautiful they really are.
- I want her to make the most of her life… That may sound corny but I want her to have as few regrets as possible in her life and I want her to hear those words “well done My good and faithful servant”.
- I want her to never know a stranger… She can be the sweetest person I know, when she wants to be, I want her to use that to touch as many lives as she can.
- I want her to never settle… To always do her very best and never settle for good enough in school, work, love or life.
- I want her to fall in love (in the far future) with a certain kind of man…
- He needs to love God… I want him to be the spiritual leader she needs to guide her, lead her and protect her.
- He needs to love her… I want him to love her with all the passion and attention she wants, needs and deserves.
- He needs to make her happy… Not with material things but with what her heart truly desires.
- He needs to make her laugh… Marissa has an infectious laugh that needs to be heard as often as possible.
- (guys if you’re not up to these tasks don’t even bother)
Finally, I want her to know how important she is to me… I have not done well providing, supporting or emphasizing the things listed above for Marissa. I am praying that God will help me to see and sieze each and every moment that I can use to prepare her for what ever He has for her. Please keep me in prayer that I will do better in the future. Marissa, please forgive me my shortcomings, I love you Boo.
You just never know…
It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering.
What’s important is that God makes the seed grow.
- 1 Corinthians 3:7
About nine years ago I was out mowing the lawn on a sweltering hot day. The pastor of the church my wife had been attending drove by and saw me. Now I didn’t really know this guy and I had no interest in church or anything it had to offer. The guys name was Bill Craig. Anyway, he stopped back by a little later and offered to help me. He got in the back of his car and pulled out this old, rusty, antique mower. He meant it as a joke and I think I laughed a little bit and probably thought “thanks a lot jerk” (or something not so clean). Now my wife and I like to decorate our house and yard in what is sometimes referred to as country clutter (or hillbilly chic to some) and I put that mower in a flower bed in front of the house. Bill left the church a bout a year later and I really never got to know him (something I will always regret). My wife continued to attend that church and eventually I came to know Christ there. It is now the Ridge where we both serve and attend. We recently celebrated our ten year anniversary and I had a chance to talk to Bill Craig. He made a comment about that mower and I told him I still had it. I see it every time I mow, work in the yard, or step out of the house. That silly mower was a seed that Bill planted many years ago. A connection that we made however brief that I have never really forgotten. Bill knew where I was and probably how I was living to an extent but he still reached out, in a strange sort of way, and showed me a little love (and humor).
I’ve been thinking about this lately and the Lord has shown me, in all this, that you should never pass up an opportunity to reach out to someone for Him. It may be the only chance you get to plant a seed. Don’t worry about how big or small it may be just do what the Lord leads you to do and He’ll take care of the rest.
Again, it’s not important who does the planting but, you do need to plant those seeds when called to do so, You just never know…
(thanks Bill)
What is Going On?!?!
I saw previews for a new TV show the other day. It’s on network TV during primetime. It’s called Swingtown. It’s about a couple in the 70′s that move to a new town full of swingers!! (partner swapping for those that don’t know the term). Who in the world thought this was ok to put on TV at all? I thought shows like Two and a Half Men were bad but this is outright porn without the nudity. And, as with Two and a Half Men, the commercials aren’t even censored and are on during all hours. Why do you think we are being exposed to this kind of stuff? I have my theories but would like to hear from others.
Marissa…
My daughter Marissa, 2nd from the left, (ain’t she adorable) was inducted into the National Honor Society tonight I am so unbelievably proud of her. I don’t tell her nearly enough and I’m not sure she gets it when I do tell her. She will be 16 in August. She has been such an amazing child and is becoming an amazing young lady (BACK OFF GUYS!!!) Sometimes I wonder how in the world she survived all these years with me as her father and then I remember she has another Father and it is through His grace that she survived me and my failures. I am truly blessed to have her and her mother and I thank God everyday for them. I was baptized almost 2 years ago now and right after I was baptized I had the amazing privilege and honor to help baptize Marissa. That is one of the most memorable times in my walk so far. I had a chance to see the video again in a baptism compilation video at church last week and I lost it. Thank you Lord. I love you Boo. -love, Daddy.
