Archive for August, 2009

31
Aug
09

You tell ‘em Pete!!

The following is a post from Pete Wilson. I’ve been reading his blog for a while now and I tend to agree with his point of view. This time is certianly no exception. Thank you Pete for your honesty and attitude concerning a very difficult but real problem in this world today.

Porn Is To Him What A Pedicure Is To Her?

I’ve read a lot of stupid things in my life but this has to be one of the stupidest, most ignorant, completely unfounded statements I’ve ever read (just ask me and I’ll tell you what I really think). While Ian Kerner, Ph.D. is probably a great guy (and I mean no personal offense towards him) I’ve got to TOTALLY disagree with him on the following statement he made during an interview for an article on the Today Show blog. He said…

For many guys porn is basically a 30-second spa day, complete with happy ending: It feels good, relieves stress and functions as a quick little treat — kind of like scarfing down a bag of Gummi Bears in the middle of the day. It doesn’t mean we’re not interested in having “a real meal” with the woman we love, but sometimes we’re in the mood for a snack.

He went on to describe pornography as a harmless distraction that really doesn’t impact an individual or their relationships with others.

Are you freaking kidding me?

When I read this I knew I had to speak to this because nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve met with countless individuals and couples over the years whose lives and relationships have been severely impacted by pornography.

  • 42 percent of surveyed adults indicated that their partner’s use of pornography made them feel insecure. Marriage Related Research, Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Christian Counseling Today, 2004 Vol. 12 No. 1.
  • 41 percent of surveyed adults admitted they felt less attractive due to their partner’s pornography use. Marriage Related Research, Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Christian Counseling Today, 2004 Vol. 12 No. 1. 
  • 47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home. Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003.

I’m not here to try to pile on the guilt. Lord knows if you’re addicted to pornography you don’t need anymore guilt.

I just want to remind you of the truth which is porn is not a “30 second spa day” but a powerful cycle of addiction that can and will destroy your ability to enjoy intimacy with your partner in the way God intended.

I want to remind you that you don’t have to continue to allow your mind and soul to be poisoned by this stuff. You can find freedom from the cycle of guilt and shame you’re caught in!

One of the wisest things I’ve ever done is installed Covenant Eyes on my computer and established a system for accountability in this area of my life and I want to encourage you to do the same. If you have computers in your home and or work which don’t have some kind of filter on them I think you’re just asking for trouble.

Okay (deep breath), I’m stepping down off my soapbox. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and while I don’t usually condone anonymous comments feel free to leave them on this particular topic.

17
Aug
09

Because I Said So…

So, the other day we’re getting ready for church and my daughter yells down from upstairs “can I wear sweatpants to church?” to which my wife immediately responds “NO!” Now, we do attend one of those come-as-you-are jeans and t-shirt kind of churches but apparently my wife draws the line at sweatpants.  My 16 year old daughter did not rebel or scoff in the least but responded with a simple ok. “Because I said so” was a perfectly acceptable answer to her.

Now, wearing  sweatpants to church may not seem like a big deal to some and it may seem sacreligious to others. That’s not the point here. This whole exchange got me thinking about Gods Word and His commands for us. I’ve heard a lot of people question Gods motives or answers. Why can’t I have sex outside of marriage? Why can’t I take things that aren’t mine? Why can’t I kill that guy that cut me off in traffic this morning?

While the answers to these questions may vary some, ultimately the only answer we really need to know is “because I (God) said so!” God loves us and had our best interest and safety in mind when He gave out the commandments and other life instructions as told by Jesus. But for some reason we feel that we need to question His answers. What kind of world would it be if we could still be like children and accept the old “because I said so” answer? I think this may be what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 18:3 when He said “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” We must leave behind our defiant, diobedient behaivour and become like trusting, obedient, innocent little children, because our Father knows and wants what’s best for us. If we don’t, do we truly have that so important relationship with Jesus???

(for those who may have read a different version of this yes, I did a rewrite. It’s not about the sweatpants. I’ll write on that one later.)

09
Aug
09

Why Twitter?

Over the last year or so I’ve caught a little flack from my family and friends about my using Twitter (one less since I got my wife @jenniphillips hooked on it). I was going to write about why I liked and used Twitter but then I saw a blog by Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Inc. and I figure “hey he hit the nail on te head! I’ll just repost it. You can follow him on Twitter here @michaelhyatt. You can follow me on Twitter here @rickphillips.

Don’t know what Twittering is? Read my original post on this topic. If you want to know how to get started, read my Beginner’s Guide to Twitter.>

If you are wondering why in the world you should consider it, here are twelve reasons:

  1. It will enable you to experience social networking first-hand. One of my pet peeves is people who pontificate on new technologies but have never actually used them. This is particularly annoying—but common—among CEOs. Real users can always tell the difference. There is no substitute for personal experience.
  2. It will make you a better writer. Twitter only allows you to post 140 characters at a time. As a result, you are forced to be concise. In my opinion, this is one of the hallmarks of good writing. Short messages. Short paragraphs. Short sentences.
  3. It will help you stay connected to people you care about. This is one of the few technologies I’ve found that actually contributes to community-building. In today’s busy world, it’s difficult to keep up with others. Twitter makes it easy—and fun.
  4. It will help you see a new side of your friends. In an odd sort of way, Twitter “humanizes” people and provides a context for better understanding them. If you follow me on Twitter, for example, you’ll quickly see that I get excited, bored, frustrated, and confused—sometimes all in the same day. You’ll also learn what is important to me and what drives me crazy.
  5. It will introduce you to new friends. I have now met several new people via Twitter. These have contributed to my life in small but significant ways. Gail and I have even had dinner with a couple that we met via Twitter.
  6. It is faster than text-messaging. In a sense Twitter is a universal text messaging system. You can broadcast to all of your “followers” (i.e., people who subscribe to your Twitter feed) or send a direct message to just one. As a result, I have almost completely stopped text messaging. The only time I use it is to reply to someone who messages me outside of Twitter.
  7. It will make you think about your life. As you answer the question, “What am I doing?” you start to see your life through the lens of the people following you. Interestingly, it has made me more intentional and thoughtful about my life.
  8. It will help you keep up with what people are talking about. Via Twitter, I have learned about hot books, cool software, breaking news, and even great restaurants. Because the information is coming from real people who care enough to Twitter about it, I have found it more valuable and authentic.
  9. It can create traffic for your blog or Website. I have noticed a 30% uptick in my blog traffic in the last 30 days. It may be related to the fact that I have been in the news more or have been writing on more controversial posts. However, I also think it is related to the fact that I am Twittering every time I post a new blog entry. This seems to have a viral effect.
  10. It requires a very small investment. Twitter itself is a free service. In terms of my time, I probably invest less than 20 minutes a day. Since “tweets” (i.e., posts) are limited to 140 charters or less, you can scan them in a second or two. Writing them usually takes less than 30 seconds.
  11. It can help build your personal “brand.” When people hear your name, what comes to mind? What is your reputation? What is the “brand promise”? Brands are built incrementally, one interaction at a time. Twitter gives you one more way to build your brand, one tweet at a time.
  12. It is fun! Twitter is just plain entertaining. Following your family and friends is kind of like watching reality TV. The difference is that you know the people and actually care about them. In this sense, it is even more fun, because you know more about the people from other contexts. Don’t believe me? Give it a try.

I’m sure there are some downsides to Twitter that I am either ignoring or don’t recognize. But I would rather jump into the fray and shape the future of social networks rather than sit on the sidelines and throw stones.

Question: How about you?
Thanks Michael for a great post. Happy tweeting for those who choose to join.
07
Aug
09

Rick and Bubba’s Guide to the Almost Perfect Marriage

“Rick and Bubba’s Guide to the Almost Perfect Marriage” is a look at the ups and downs of marriage. I’ve never heard the radio show of Rick and Bubba so I’m not sure how it compares with this book but I have to say I was not very entertained by it. While I can appreciate the attempt it just didn’t work for me. Maybe it was just the translation from radio show to book or maybe it was the fact that the material was based on the too often clique complaints/jokes about husbands and wives but unless you are avid fans of theirs I wouldn’t really recommend this one. I tend to have what I would consider an above average sense of humor but I really didn’t find this book very amusing. Sorry guys, better luck next time.




I’m Rick Phillips-

I'm a massage therapist and the owner of Vandalia Massage Therapy. I'm also the communications director for The Ridge Community Church. I love to be used by God and help others discover how amazing it is to find their place and purpose in His kingdom on this earth. I'm used... The views expressed here are not necessarily the views and opinions of Vandalia Massage, the Ridge, bald guys or sane people. Thank you.

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